The Home Paternity Test – Just £4.99!

Fans of the Jeremy Kyle Show can recreate its most iconic moments at home for less than the price of a couple of pints after paternity test makers AlphaBiolabs announced a deal with discount retailer Home Bargains to stock their DNA Test Collection Kits in store for just £4.99.

jeremy kyle
“Hang on there, there’s some people I need to patronise over here”

The fact that users will need to shell out another £99 for the laboratory processing fee shouldn’t get in the way of a news story that says far more about modern society than many would care to admit. Imagine being able to browse the aisles of bargain priced, sell-by date approaching pink wafers and novelty kitchen implements whilst picking up a tiny packet with the power to rip your family apart for less than a fiver! If the baby isn’t yours, there’s trouble, if the baby is yours but your other half finds out that you didn’t trust her, there’s trouble. It’s a lose-lose situation on a grand scale!

Still, as is obvious from the hoards that throw themselves upon the altar of Kyle, there’s a market for these kits and this is the ideal way to find the answers you think you need without having to have that awkward conversation with your partner about why they need to turn up at a TV studio a week on Tuesday.

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