You might have seen the footage of Luke Aikins, the American sky diver who fell 25,000 feet without a parachute ON PURPOSE over the weekend. He landed in the centre of a 100 square foot safety net suspended 20 storeys above the ground in the Simi Valley in California to become the first person ever to achieve this utterly ridiculous feat.
Whilst the stunt has left viewers of the video in awe of Aikins’ bravery/stupidity, is what he did really any more courageous than the situations parents are faced with on a daily basis? Here are three times parents were bigger daredevils than Luke Aikins:
Applying Teething Gel
Jaws proved that sharks can be a little bit bitey at times, but they have nothing on toddlers. When placing your finger anyway near the mouth of a small child, you have to resign yourself to the fact that it might not make it back safely.
Of course, evolution being the slippery fish it is, the more of their teeth that come through, the more dangerous applying teething gel becomes, but the more they need its sweet, sweet relief so you then have to risk your digits on a more frequent basis. In addition, another way kids deal with the discomfort caused by their developing gnashers is by gnawing on the nearest available item. And we know what that turns out to be more often than not…
It is often said that having a toddler is like spending time with a little drunk person and there is some truth in that. They both go to great pains to try and rebuff what is blindingly obvious to everyone else in the room. Just like a tipsy chum will deny they’re inebriated whilst attempting fruitlessly to phone a taxi on the TV remote control, a toddler will refuse to accept they are tired at bed time, despite their drooping eyelids and the fact they have just broken down into floods of tears because you’d just served them the wrong type of raisins.
In my experience, if Elsa isn’t particularly tired the whole bedtime routine is quick and simple and she’ll settle herself down in her bed to eventually drift off. Weirdly, when attempting to put a child who is actually tired to bed is when you find yourself one ill-judged joke away from a code red tantrum to end all tantrums. Apparently, the worst thing you can do is pretend to get a teddy bear’s name wrong. Who knew?
Big Daddy was the king of Saturday morning TV wrestling back in the day, but I’d still rather take a scoop slam off Shirley Crabtree than face another attack from the flailing legs and pointed elbows of my two-year-old daughter. I’ve already had a reasonably expensive pair of glasses broken by an (I hope) accidental, but admirably effective, right hook, taken more blows to the stomach whilst tickling her than a heavyweight boxer could expect in an entire career and the less said about her attempting to run through my legs at full pelt, the better.
In conclusion, although Aikins’ jump was certainly spectacular, he still has to go some with his next scheme to impress me and, I imagine, millions of other parents worldwide.