It’s probably frowned upon to hope that your daughter marries into money rather than works hard and succeeds in whatever arena of work she chooses to enter but I’d want the same if she were a boy so I’m not being sexist. Yes, any son of mine would be more than welcome to marry Mike Tindall and Zara Phillips’ daughter Mia although, being from the rougher side of the Windsor family I guess I’d have to downgrade my castle expectations to a large country cottage and a promise from them to keep Princess Anne’s dogs away from our Labrador Alfie.
I’ve developed a rule that I think will serve my family well for years to come and that rule goes like this: Elsa is not allowed to talk to boys until she is at least forty years old. I’m protective, yes, but she will be able to converse with the opposite sex eventually so I don’t think I’m being unfair. As with every rule there is an exception and, seeing as there are just four months between them, if I were to prevent her from striking up a relationship with Prince George then it would very much seem that I was cutting off my nose to spite my face.
It could turn out beautifully; I take my future son-in-law to see Scunthorpe United and, in turn, he buys me a castle. Possibly in exchange for never having to go and see Scunthorpe United again. Still, I’ll have a castle.
Back to George. He’s been in the news this week because he’s going on his first holiday in April as part of his parents’ ‘work’ engagements in Australia and New Zealand. Yes, at the age of 8 months he will be flying halfway around the world. Of course, being in their position, it’s not like William and Kate will have to join the scrum trying to win prime positions on a Ryanair flight (if they were they could call in help from their aforementioned brother-in-law) and I doubt that they’ll have four hours to kill in Abu Dhabi airport with only the purchase of a tube of vastly overpriced toothpaste to alleviate the boredom (personal experience) but it’s enough to make any new parent flinch.
The logistics of taking Elsa even into town seem monumental enough for me. She has to be wearing the requisite layers with the opportunity to add or subtract more depending on whether she’s outdoors, inside a café or sitting in the back of the car. Do we take the carrycot for the pram or will she be fine in the car seat? How many blankets/spare nappies/changes of outfit/garishly coloured toys do we need to bring? Will she require a feed or can she wait till we get back? It’s a military operation planning a trip of less than an hour, how do you start preparing yourself for a journey that lasts for nearly an entire day?
Add into that the consideration that, despite many similarities, Australia is a completely different climate, culture, country, continent, even hemisphere! How can you be sure that little ‘un will adapt to being there? It’s a long old haul if you have to about turn at Sydney airport and come right back. We’re thinking having a day in Manchester will be enough of a culture shock for Elsa. She can’t stand the rain for starters.
Of course the answer to how to make this life changing trip (George to Australia, not Elsa to Manchester) that much easier is ‘to employ plenty of staff’ but if, like we found out in the news this week, childcare is now costing more than most people’s mortgages then it’s probably not for everyone. It’s almost not worth Princess Catherine going back to work.
I can’t see us making a trip down under any time soon so Elsa will have to wait till George is back in the country before they can be introduced and when eventually they do get married then Jill and I can sit back and enjoy a hassle-free life just like the Middletons have now their daughter is married off to a future king.