Just days after the biggest night in the music industry’s calendar, on tenterhooks waiting for baby’s arrival and bereft of any fresh ideas, I’ve decided instead to pretty much copy the post I wrote the other day about when the Brits Met CBeebies and bring you When the Oscars Met CBeebies.
Basically, replace music puns with film puns. Sound okay? Good. Here we go:
Best Production Design – Justin’s House on the Hill
Let’s get the obligatory Justin’s House reference out of the way first. The pointing on that building is all to-cock, meaning you step inside at your own risk anyway, but a quick once-over with some black matt and it definitely wouldn’t look out of place in a horror flick.
Also, you get the impression that Robert the Robot is always one overly-shrill command away from going on a devastating feather duster rampage in the local precinct.
Best Actor – Baby Jake Gyllenhaal
You feel bad that Hollywood’s Jake G has to jockey for publicity against his far more talented (my opinion) sister, Maggie? Spare a thought for Baby Jake, who already has nine siblings and whose parents are clearly not stopping there, as they appear to be working through the alphabet, one letter at a time, when naming their kids. Will someone buy them a telly to keep themselves occupied in the evenings?
Best Screenplay – In the Night Garden State
Zach Braff’s touching shoe-gazer portrait of Iggle Piggle and Oopsie Daisy follows their journey as they explore their inner-doubts and come to terms with their insignificant place in this uncaring world. Haunting, fragile indie tunes set the atmosphere, which is only slightly ruined when Makka Pakka arrives and shoves a sponge in their faces without their consent.
Best Picture – The Bing Lebowski
The Dude in The Big Lebowski is laid back and unruffled despite the shenanigans that occur around him. This makes him much like Flop, the parental figure in Bing. There isn’t a court in the land that would convict Flop if he drove the irritating, whining, self-obsessed titular character to a field miles away and left him there. But somehow he always resists.
I’m certain that the producers of this show purposefully made that blasted rabbit so intensely annoying that even the mum and dad of the most extreme demon child can watch it and feel blessed they don’t have to parent Bing on a daily basis.
Any more to add? Stick them in the comments.