I recently read about the concept of ‘everyday carry’, where people post neatly-arranged pictures of the items they carry around with them day-to-day online. It’s a proper community that I never knew existed, which is mainly because it appears to consist of extremely butch men showing off their gigantic hunting knives and I’m not sure I’d pass the induction to get into that club.
However, I thought there must be an opening for a parenting everyday carry offshoot and here’s my attempt.
Let me run you through the list:
- Muslin Cloth – these are the greatest invention for parents, whether you have a dribbly baby or a messy toddler. Or both, in my case. Whereas LA gang members display their allegiance to the Bloods or the Crips depending on the colour of the bandana they wear, parents of young children recognise each other as they shuffle glassy-eyed around the aisles of the supermarket by the vomit-stained muslins hanging from their back pockets.
- Fisher Price Little People – We started off with a few of these, we now have hundreds. I genuinely believe they are breeding. Elsa will often insist I take one with me, but will never ask to see it again. I don’t know whether to feel more sorry for myself or the poor, forgotten Little Person.
- Packet of Pom Bears (Empty) – This is every parent’s favoured crisp-based toddler snack. “Ha! they think they’re eating something fun, but really they are low in salt and fat. WE WIN!” When going through an economy drive, you may be pushed to revert to Aldi’s hilariously literal rip-off:
- One Sock – I have no idea how I end up with just one child’s sock in my pocket at all times. I have a feeling socks are compelled to attempt to put as much distance as possible between them and their ‘pair’, which is why you can never match them up after doing the washing. This makes me the getaway driver, I suppose.
- Hair Bobble – I always have it on me, but I fear being asked to use it. Much like my First Aid training. I can do a ponytail, but not without yanking out half of Elsa’s hair in the process, and don’t even get me started on plaits.
- A Straw – Because heaven forbid my daughter should have to drink directly from a cup.
- Calpol Plunger – Where there are kids, there must also be Calpol and a way of administering that Calpol that ensures they consume the full amount of Calpol and don’t spill all the Calpol down themselves, as is usually the way with a spoon. Having said that, we’ve not always been as prepared when it comes to Calpol.
- Nappy Bag – I’ve carried these for years because they’re much cheaper than dog poo bags and when it comes to picking up faeces, it doesn’t hugely matter what the original intention for the bag was.*
- A Rock – Elsa likes to make me pick up rocks to take home. As with the Little People, she will never ask after it again. I have no idea.
- Various Examples of Flora – These are often picked up as ‘presents’ to take home for mummy. Although they are of vital importance to her whilst on a walk, by the time they arrive home, they are crushed beyond recognition. But it doesn’t matter, as she never remembers them, anyway. See a pattern developing?
Find out more about everyday carry here:
— Geeknaut (@geeknaut) May 12, 2017
What do you carry with you every day? Let me know in the comments, or post a picture on the Bewildered Dad Facebook or Twitter pages.
*Yes, there’s a nappy bag, but no fresh nappies. These are the items in my pockets(!), the list of all the things in the change bag would exceed this website’s bandwidth.